5 Steps to Stop the Blame Game and Take Back Control of Your Destiny

I recently read a definition of blame that I found exceptionally powered.

Blame:  Self Perpetuated Misery

I have adopted that definition.  Blame really is nothing more than creating excuses that keep a negative pattern of thought and actions alive in our lives.  When we are blaming others we forfeit our power to navigate the course of our lives and create our desired destiny.

So today on Blame Someone Else Day I am granting you one opportunity to blame someone else then giving you 5 steps to regain your power and help you create the life your desire.

What is one thing you blame someone else for?  I know you have at least one area of your life that you are less than thrilled with.  Perhaps it is your relationship, your career, your time, your energy, your home, your health, your _____________ ….and someone you blame for that current situation.

Go ahead say it, “I blame _________ for __________________.”  I blame my kids for my car always being a mess.  I blame that manager, two managers back, for my stalled out career.  I blame my parents for not encouraging me to be the great golfer I could have been.

Step 1:  Acknowledge what you are blaming others for.

Sometimes stopping the blame game comes in one simple acknowledgment, an awareness that you have surrendered control over your life to another person who is not even aware of the power you have given them and most likely does not want that control over your life.

Step 2:  Chose to take back your power.

I am a firm believer in the power of choice and it’s ability to transform lives.  Today chose to take back your power.  Today choose to own every aspect of your life.  Today choose to transform your thoughts and actions into those that lead you to the destiny you choose for yourself.

Step 3:  Decide on the outcomes you desire.

You know what you want…right?  Sometimes people blame because it buys them time to not decide on what they really want.  It is a self-created “reason” to procrastinate.  Time to stop procrastinating and decide on the outcome you want to achieve.  If your car is a mess, decide what a clean car should look like inside and out.  If you are overweight, decide on a realistic weight for your body type and activity level.  If your career has stalled out in this economy, decide on the contribution you want to be making to the world and the income you need to support your family and lifestyle.

Step 4:  Identify 3 courses of action that COULD move one towards the identified desired outcome.

There are always at least three options.  If you have been playing the Blame Game for long, you probably do not believe that to be true.  But trust me, it is true.  If you want to get out of a bad relationship you could get couple counseling, leave the relationship, decide to change your contribution to the relationship and see the impact, speak with your partner and set new boundaries in a problem area, attend a marriage workshop, separate for 60 days and work on healing yourself, each day focus as a couple on one problem area of your relationship….the list is not complete…what ideas would you add to this list?  I encourage you to make as long as a list as possible, sometimes the outrageous ideas lead to new thoughts, so list them all.  Remember this is not a list of what you will do, there is not commitment yet.  This is a list of what COULD be done.

Step 5:  Take inspired actions.

As you were making your list there are few things that you kept coming back to or things you kept rewording is slightly different ways.  If you spent a few days making your list you started to see opportunities to take action.  Your subconscious has already started to work on your desired outcome.  You are being led to your inspired actions.  Now you need to decide and take action. 

Final Thoughts:

Your life is more likely to turn out as you desire when you take back control.  Today is Blame Someone Else Day…make this the last day you surrender your power to others.  Follow the above steps today and any day you find yourself blaming another for the outcomes of YOUR life.


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